You May Forget Your Ex in Time, But What if You Want Them Back Now?

If you are reading this, there is a good chance that you are going through a tough time at the moment dealing with a breakup. It probably feels like you’re never going to be the same again and that the only person you ever loved (and will ever love) is gone from your life for good. At times like this, you may even be obsessed with your former partner. The only thoughts you may have at the moment involve ways to get your ex back and nothing more. The concept of a life after this relationship seems surreal. You can’t get your head around the fact that your ex may be gone for good.

Any advice you are being given at the moment will no doubt include the fact that some day you will be completely over all this and will look back on it with mild amusement at best. While it’s true that time will heal even the worst situations, it is of little consolation here and now. At this point in time, you don’t even want to consider what your life will be like when you are over your ex because when that happens it will mean that your ex, the love of your life, will be gone and nothing but a distant, though fond, memory.

How depressing is that? You are searching desperately and wondering how to get your ex back, and they are telling you that you’ll get over it – nope, that just isn’t going to work.

Of course, it’s easy for any one of your friends or family members to dole out these nuggets of wisdom because they don’t have to deal with the incredible heart-ache and despair you are feeling at the moment. This is real and there is no denying that.

The good news is that you don’t have to settle for the promise that things will be better in time. How much time are we talking about anyway? A month? A year? And just imagine having to endure that hardship knowing that some day the pain will subside.

Don’t get me wrong: of course, the pain will eventually subside and you will recover, but it definitely will not be an easy road.

So if you are not willing to let go of your ex, the time to act is now. You need to put a plan together and follow it through. I’m not saying that you should start harassing your ex (we know that doesn’t work anyway), but you should at least put something in place in terms of a short and long term plan.

And do not hesitate – the clock is ticking and your window of opportunity is closing.

Need a place to start? Try thinking about the mistakes you are making at this very minute when it comes to dealing with your ex. Are you harassing him/her with phone calls and text messages? Maybe it’s the fact that you are unwilling to take no for an answer until things cool off. Whatever mistakes you are making at the moment, you know deep down what they are.

The next step is easy: if you know the mistakes you are making, then simply do the opposite. Can’t stop contacting your ex? Simple, just keep away. Enlist the help of some good friends if necessary. If you really can’t keep away, take a trip out of town and go on vacation for a bit. Make sure the cell phone stays at home. Once you have identified the problem, the solution is usually straight forward.

It’s Within Your Reach to Get Your Ex Back

I understand what you’re going through, I’ve been there. Things look pretty bad right now, but you need to realize that you can’t just repeat the past. That is what got you here in the first place. Finding the main reason for your split, and dealing with it is crucial. You have to stop trying to force things with your ex by trying to change their thoughts or feelings. Are you wondering exactly what your options are?

The best thing you can do is to change the way you’re acting. This may sound way too simple to work, but it does. It works, that is, as long as you don’t return to those same bad habits. It’s important to know that if you keep doing these things, you will only end up alone.

Here are two tips that will really help you:

1. Stop, and take a good look at where you currently are. Ask yourself what is working, and what is not? If you find that everything is working for you, just continue on the steady path. If not, however, a major change may be in order. I’m not talking about tweaking what you are currently doing, I mean a drastic change. Start by doing what you do now, just completely opposite. There is no quicker way to get someone’s attention, including your ex. For example, if you are the kind of person that is constantly ringing your ex to try and patch things up, stop calling completely. I am not saying cut back on the number of times you call them, or only call a few times a week. When I say drastic, I mean cold turkey, no more calls. If there is a time where you have to make a call, just get straight to business with no small talk.

2. You have a very realistic chance at getting your ex back. You have to, however, be humble in realizing what is working, and what is not. This will let you approach the situation with a new level of confidence to really change up the way things are going. You have to catch your ex’s eye, and make them want to approach you if you ever want to get them back. No amount of forcing the situation will help, no matter how much you want it to.

Avoid Contacting Your Ex

If you’ve spent any time at all looking at other websites, you’ll notice that one of the main bits of advice they give is to stay away from your ex. There’s a reason that the majority of sites have come to this one consensus: it works.

Nothing creates desirability like scarcity. We all want what we can’t have and we tend to discount that which is readily available. When you start obsessively contacting your ex, you are not creating scarcity, you’re creating an abundance – and humiliating yourself in the process. There is no challenge and your ex is likely to take a “who cares” attitude.

While separating our emotions from our logical thinking should be relatively straightforward, in reality, it’s not as easy as that. It takes an incredible effort to be able to stay away from someone we still love.

And that’s where the problem starts for many. It’s one thing to phone your ex once or twice after the breakup, it’s another entirely to constantly phone, text, and e-mail them whenever the urge strikes. And sometimes that urge strikes several times a day.

Is it any wonder that tempers become short and feelings fade quickly. You’re not doing yourself any favors by driving them nuts – they will simply start resenting you more and more. Put yourself in their situation.

Since few of us have the discipline to behave ourselves, it is imperative that we not contact our ex at all until we get our emotions under control. If you can’t manage that, simply remove yourself from the situation and make sure you plan it so that communication is impossible. Go on vacation, go visit friends – but leave the computer and cellphone at home. Yes, it’s a drastic measure, but one that you will be thankful for down the road.