You May Forget Your Ex in Time, But What if You Want Them Back Now?

If you are reading this, there is a good chance that you are going through a tough time at the moment dealing with a breakup. It probably feels like you’re never going to be the same again and that the only person you ever loved (and will ever love) is gone from your life for good. At times like this, you may even be obsessed with your former partner. The only thoughts you may have at the moment involve ways to get your ex back and nothing more. The concept of a life after this relationship seems surreal. You can’t get your head around the fact that your ex may be gone for good.

Any advice you are being given at the moment will no doubt include the fact that some day you will be completely over all this and will look back on it with mild amusement at best. While it’s true that time will heal even the worst situations, it is of little consolation here and now. At this point in time, you don’t even want to consider what your life will be like when you are over your ex because when that happens it will mean that your ex, the love of your life, will be gone and nothing but a distant, though fond, memory.

How depressing is that? You are searching desperately and wondering how to get your ex back, and they are telling you that you’ll get over it – nope, that just isn’t going to work.

Of course, it’s easy for any one of your friends or family members to dole out these nuggets of wisdom because they don’t have to deal with the incredible heart-ache and despair you are feeling at the moment. This is real and there is no denying that.

The good news is that you don’t have to settle for the promise that things will be better in time. How much time are we talking about anyway? A month? A year? And just imagine having to endure that hardship knowing that some day the pain will subside.

Don’t get me wrong: of course, the pain will eventually subside and you will recover, but it definitely will not be an easy road.

So if you are not willing to let go of your ex, the time to act is now. You need to put a plan together and follow it through. I’m not saying that you should start harassing your ex (we know that doesn’t work anyway), but you should at least put something in place in terms of a short and long term plan.

And do not hesitate – the clock is ticking and your window of opportunity is closing.

Need a place to start? Try thinking about the mistakes you are making at this very minute when it comes to dealing with your ex. Are you harassing him/her with phone calls and text messages? Maybe it’s the fact that you are unwilling to take no for an answer until things cool off. Whatever mistakes you are making at the moment, you know deep down what they are.

The next step is easy: if you know the mistakes you are making, then simply do the opposite. Can’t stop contacting your ex? Simple, just keep away. Enlist the help of some good friends if necessary. If you really can’t keep away, take a trip out of town and go on vacation for a bit. Make sure the cell phone stays at home. Once you have identified the problem, the solution is usually straight forward.

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You Need to Understand Why Your Ex Dumped You

Although it’s natural to want to “fix” a relationship after getting dumped, if you don’t understand why your ex left you in the first place, there is very little chance that it’s going to happen any time soon. Also, if you do get him/her back, it’s not likely to last. You’ll wind up in the same situation – and when your ex leaves you again, they definitely won’t be coming back.

As painful as it may be, what you should be doing with your time at the moment is really trying to understand why they left. Put aside the “victim” mentality for a minute and look at things objectively. Even if your ex left you for someone else, there is a reason it happened in the first place. Was your relationship already in trouble? Did you both communicate openly? Did you respect each other? Was there any cheating going on?

If you’re wondering how to get your ex back, you really ought to give this your undivided attention – eventually, you’ll find the answer, and that answer will be worth it’s weight in gold.

Yes, there is a chance that your ex is completely evil and left you for no reason at all, but that’s highly unlikely. It’s much more likely that there is one single problem with the relationship that lead to the split. Unfortunately, your ex is unlikely to give you any clues. This is something you’re going to have to figure out on your own.

Once you have a pretty good idea of what actually happened, you’ll be able to sit down with your former partner and really talk things over. It’ll be very obvious that you’re not just apologizing for the sake of apologizing. Your ex is going to pick up on your sincerity right away and it won’t just look like another ploy to get them back.

This is going to go a long way towards reconnecting (and eventually, reuniting) with your ex.

It’s Within Your Reach to Get Your Ex Back

I understand what you’re going through, I’ve been there. Things look pretty bad right now, but you need to realize that you can’t just repeat the past. That is what got you here in the first place. Finding the main reason for your split, and dealing with it is crucial. You have to stop trying to force things with your ex by trying to change their thoughts or feelings. Are you wondering exactly what your options are?

The best thing you can do is to change the way you’re acting. This may sound way too simple to work, but it does. It works, that is, as long as you don’t return to those same bad habits. It’s important to know that if you keep doing these things, you will only end up alone.

Here are two tips that will really help you:

1. Stop, and take a good look at where you currently are. Ask yourself what is working, and what is not? If you find that everything is working for you, just continue on the steady path. If not, however, a major change may be in order. I’m not talking about tweaking what you are currently doing, I mean a drastic change. Start by doing what you do now, just completely opposite. There is no quicker way to get someone’s attention, including your ex. For example, if you are the kind of person that is constantly ringing your ex to try and patch things up, stop calling completely. I am not saying cut back on the number of times you call them, or only call a few times a week. When I say drastic, I mean cold turkey, no more calls. If there is a time where you have to make a call, just get straight to business with no small talk.

2. You have a very realistic chance at getting your ex back. You have to, however, be humble in realizing what is working, and what is not. This will let you approach the situation with a new level of confidence to really change up the way things are going. You have to catch your ex’s eye, and make them want to approach you if you ever want to get them back. No amount of forcing the situation will help, no matter how much you want it to.

How to Get Your Ex Back Like a Jujitsu Master

So you may be thinking to yourself, what does being a Jujitsu master have one lick to do with how to get your ex back. Trust me, this isn’t some gimmick to get you to start a martial arts class, just trust me on this one. One of the founding concepts of jujitsu is to take an opponent’s energy and use it against them. For example, let’s pretend your arm is locking in tight with another, kind of like arm wrestling. Whatever happens, you need to keep pushing with all your might against his oncoming force. One thing you can learn from jujitsu in this situation that you can easily apply to your relationship is how to “give in” a little – this will surprise your opponent and you can easily turn things around. The key is to use their strength in a way they’re not expecting – against them.

I’m going to shed some light on how to use this technique when you try to get your ex back. Just like in the example, you need to stop pushing back. This means no more fights or bickering about small things, no matter how right you are. This also means that being needy and clingy are out of the question – and there is never a good excuse to look for reasons to “run into each other”.

This is just the first step in throwing your ex off guard – next, you want to reverse what you have been feeling and act happy and joyful with life. You should even start to consider going on a date. This, of course, is not to find someone to replace your ex, but instead to really boost your self-confidence and get you in a more positive mindset.

When your ex sees how amazing you are doing, there will be nothing they can do to stop themselves from coming back to you. There will be this initial confrontation, but don’t stress about it. Just remember your jujitsu training and things will work out just as you planned. When thinking about how to get your ex back, I hope you begin to realize it’s not as hard as you once thought.

After The Breakup, Your Options Are Limited

If you find yourself on the receiving end of a breakup, you know how hard it can be to change the situation. In fact, if you’ve been dumped, you have very little in the way of options. You are at a very significant disadvantage psychologically in the post breakup relationship.

Not having any viable options can really take its toll on a person. Quite often, it will cause someone to take drastic measures even though they know they are doomed to failure. Furthermore, these actions may permanently kill any chances you have for a reconciliation in the future.

Such behavior is often described as erratic, desperate, needy, and pitiful. It includes such things as phoning your ex dozens of times per day, texting them consistently, and may include the odd desperate e-mail. None of this is going to change your ex’s mind, but it will show them that you are not exactly the person they thought you were. A bad situation all around.

Now, just because you are on the defensive, doesn’t mean that you can’t make decisions for yourself and improve your situation. For one thing, you don’t have to contact your ex at all. Secondly, you can easily remove yourself from the volatile environment and take some time for yourself. Go on vacation, go visit friends, whatever it takes; just don’t contact your ex for any reason.

Of course, this is easier said than done. Though we may know the mistakes we’re making, oftentimes our emotions can do our thinking for us. The end result is that you put yourself in the position where you are nothing more than a nuisance and a pest in your ex’s eyes.

The first step towards turning the psychological tables on your ex is acknowledging the fact that you have very few options and you are at a significant disadvantage. The second thing you need to do is tell yourself that it’s only a temporary situation. Third, make yourself scarce and get on with your life.

Amazingly, if you’re able to do this, you’ll notice a few things happening: First of all, you will start feeling your confidence and self-esteem returning – Secondly, you will create an environment in which your ex will start thinking about you. What you have done is created scarcity and it’s simple human nature to want what we can’t have. If your ex has any feelings for you at all, you’re going to be on their mind quite a bit from here on out.

That’s how you change the psychological tables in your favor. in fact, it really is the only way.

Avoid Contacting Your Ex

If you’ve spent any time at all looking at other websites, you’ll notice that one of the main bits of advice they give is to stay away from your ex. There’s a reason that the majority of sites have come to this one consensus: it works.

Nothing creates desirability like scarcity. We all want what we can’t have and we tend to discount that which is readily available. When you start obsessively contacting your ex, you are not creating scarcity, you’re creating an abundance – and humiliating yourself in the process. There is no challenge and your ex is likely to take a “who cares” attitude.

While separating our emotions from our logical thinking should be relatively straightforward, in reality, it’s not as easy as that. It takes an incredible effort to be able to stay away from someone we still love.

And that’s where the problem starts for many. It’s one thing to phone your ex once or twice after the breakup, it’s another entirely to constantly phone, text, and e-mail them whenever the urge strikes. And sometimes that urge strikes several times a day.

Is it any wonder that tempers become short and feelings fade quickly. You’re not doing yourself any favors by driving them nuts – they will simply start resenting you more and more. Put yourself in their situation.

Since few of us have the discipline to behave ourselves, it is imperative that we not contact our ex at all until we get our emotions under control. If you can’t manage that, simply remove yourself from the situation and make sure you plan it so that communication is impossible. Go on vacation, go visit friends – but leave the computer and cellphone at home. Yes, it’s a drastic measure, but one that you will be thankful for down the road.

How To Get Back Your Ex Who is With Someone Else

A common situation that happens when two people break up is that the person that did the dumping often realizes they made a mistake, but unfortunately that diamond in the rough you had and didn’t realize it until it was too late, has already been scooped up by someone else. One of the toughest battles you will have is in trying to figure out how to get back your ex that is with someone else.

The toughest thing to ever see when you want to be with someone is the first time that you see them with something else. Before you jump the gun, make sure that those feelings you are having are genuine and not just a little bit of jealousy. Second thing is that you don’t really need to sweat it too bad, it very well may be a rebound and they are just putting their time in and trying to get you out of their head. Don’t panic and you still have a shot of getting them back.

Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘two can play that game’? You don’t need to rub it in their face put you do want to see how they react to you being somewhere with someone else too. They are perfectly cool when they have the upper hand, but when the playing field gets leveled, it is a whole different story. Let them see you with someone else and at some point, make yourself available. Maybe you walk to the restroom when they are looking or you go over to the jukebox or bar by yourself. If they are still interested, they will more than likely wander over and at least say hi. If they make a comment that they can’t believe you are with so and so, the door is open, maybe only a little bit, but it is definitely open.

You are going to have to move really slowly and allow the other relationship to fall apart. That is going to be the most difficult because you want to be with them and you know they are going home with someone else. It’s not the easiest thing to do, but patience is going to be your best friend when you are trying to get your ex back.