After The Breakup Emotions Can Run Wild

I often wonder what causes people to act so irrationally after a breakup. Of course, it is a very emotional time, but the cold hard reality is that if you’re acting out of desperation, you’re likely to do things that will permanently damage any chance you have at getting back with your ex.

I look back at some of my previous breakups and I can just shake my head. Is it any wonder that I wound up driving them away and causing them to lose all respect for me in the process?

Desperation is not an attractive quality and, even though I knew it was completely wrong, I refused to stop contacting them in a desperate attempt to reconcile. Begging and pleading might get you a little sympathy, but it is certainly not an attractive trait and will definitely not create any romantic feelings were your ex is concerned.

In fact, you’re more likely to show them a side of you they never thought existed. In some cases, they might even wonder what they were doing with you in the first place.

So if you find yourself in the middle of a similar situation right now, the only advice I can give you is to break off contact completely and make yourself scarce for a week or two. Give the situation time to defuse and for your emotions to subside. Afterwards, you will look at the situation in a completely different light.

Avoid Contacting Your Ex

If you’ve spent any time at all looking at other websites, you’ll notice that one of the main bits of advice they give is to stay away from your ex. There’s a reason that the majority of sites have come to this one consensus: it works.

Nothing creates desirability like scarcity. We all want what we can’t have and we tend to discount that which is readily available. When you start obsessively contacting your ex, you are not creating scarcity, you’re creating an abundance – and humiliating yourself in the process. There is no challenge and your ex is likely to take a “who cares” attitude.

While separating our emotions from our logical thinking should be relatively straightforward, in reality, it’s not as easy as that. It takes an incredible effort to be able to stay away from someone we still love.

And that’s where the problem starts for many. It’s one thing to phone your ex once or twice after the breakup, it’s another entirely to constantly phone, text, and e-mail them whenever the urge strikes. And sometimes that urge strikes several times a day.

Is it any wonder that tempers become short and feelings fade quickly. You’re not doing yourself any favors by driving them nuts – they will simply start resenting you more and more. Put yourself in their situation.

Since few of us have the discipline to behave ourselves, it is imperative that we not contact our ex at all until we get our emotions under control. If you can’t manage that, simply remove yourself from the situation and make sure you plan it so that communication is impossible. Go on vacation, go visit friends – but leave the computer and cellphone at home. Yes, it’s a drastic measure, but one that you will be thankful for down the road.

How To Get Back Your Ex Who is With Someone Else

A common situation that happens when two people break up is that the person that did the dumping often realizes they made a mistake, but unfortunately that diamond in the rough you had and didn’t realize it until it was too late, has already been scooped up by someone else. One of the toughest battles you will have is in trying to figure out how to get back your ex that is with someone else.

The toughest thing to ever see when you want to be with someone is the first time that you see them with something else. Before you jump the gun, make sure that those feelings you are having are genuine and not just a little bit of jealousy. Second thing is that you don’t really need to sweat it too bad, it very well may be a rebound and they are just putting their time in and trying to get you out of their head. Don’t panic and you still have a shot of getting them back.

Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘two can play that game’? You don’t need to rub it in their face put you do want to see how they react to you being somewhere with someone else too. They are perfectly cool when they have the upper hand, but when the playing field gets leveled, it is a whole different story. Let them see you with someone else and at some point, make yourself available. Maybe you walk to the restroom when they are looking or you go over to the jukebox or bar by yourself. If they are still interested, they will more than likely wander over and at least say hi. If they make a comment that they can’t believe you are with so and so, the door is open, maybe only a little bit, but it is definitely open.

You are going to have to move really slowly and allow the other relationship to fall apart. That is going to be the most difficult because you want to be with them and you know they are going home with someone else. It’s not the easiest thing to do, but patience is going to be your best friend when you are trying to get your ex back.