Stop Trying to Control Your Ex

Let’s face it: most of us don’t handle rejection very well. So when it comes to getting dumped by your ex, all bets are off. What I mean by that is, if you’re not able to handle rejection in everyday life, having someone reject you emotionally and romantically can be devastating.

But did you realize that this behavior is not doing you any favors? In fact, there are certain things you are probably doing right now that are counter-intuitive and damaging to your prospects of getting your ex back.

You see, what you’re really missing after a breakup is control. You have absolutely no control over the situation and you don’t know what to do. The one thing you really want right now is to be able to get your ex back, resume your relationship, and get on with your life. However, that isn’t going to happen, unfortunately.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make is trying to force the situation. When your natural instinct takes over and tries to remedy things, it can land you in big trouble. Instead of trying to get a handle on their own emotions, they’re trying to force the situation and the outcome. Do this, and your ex is just going to keep resisting even more.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

One thing you have to realize is that the only thing you truly have control over is yourself. Continuously calling your ex or texting them is not going to solve your problems. However, if you take the more sensible approach, there are things that you can do right now that are going to make you more attractive in the eyes of your ex.

You really have to start making changes within in order to have success with the things that you can’t control.

Did you know that it’s probably your own insecurities that drive you to wanting to change your ex?

Make yourself a promise to look at things differently. Promise yourself to start managing the situation from a different perspective. For example, you could try changing certain things about your appearance in order to attract your ex again.

You really don’t have much choice in the situation. You can continue to force things, or you can try and change them from the inside out. By that, I mean changing things about yourself. If you think there’s nothing that you can do to change, guess again.

The alternative is to have your your ex and your relationship slip through your fingers. Is that really what you want? Is it not worth trying to change? Of course it is.

Did you know that the very first step you have to take in attracting your ex back is to change how they perceive you? And it all starts with making yourself more attractive. I don’t mean to be so superficial, but that’s the way the world works. If you’re wondering where to start, here’s a great article that addresses the question, “How can I make myself more attractive and win my ex back?”

You May Forget Your Ex in Time, But What if You Want Them Back Now?

If you are reading this, there is a good chance that you are going through a tough time at the moment dealing with a breakup. It probably feels like you’re never going to be the same again and that the only person you ever loved (and will ever love) is gone from your life for good. At times like this, you may even be obsessed with your former partner. The only thoughts you may have at the moment involve ways to get your ex back and nothing more. The concept of a life after this relationship seems surreal. You can’t get your head around the fact that your ex may be gone for good.

Any advice you are being given at the moment will no doubt include the fact that some day you will be completely over all this and will look back on it with mild amusement at best. While it’s true that time will heal even the worst situations, it is of little consolation here and now. At this point in time, you don’t even want to consider what your life will be like when you are over your ex because when that happens it will mean that your ex, the love of your life, will be gone and nothing but a distant, though fond, memory.

How depressing is that? You are searching desperately and wondering how to get your ex back, and they are telling you that you’ll get over it – nope, that just isn’t going to work.

Of course, it’s easy for any one of your friends or family members to dole out these nuggets of wisdom because they don’t have to deal with the incredible heart-ache and despair you are feeling at the moment. This is real and there is no denying that.

The good news is that you don’t have to settle for the promise that things will be better in time. How much time are we talking about anyway? A month? A year? And just imagine having to endure that hardship knowing that some day the pain will subside.

Don’t get me wrong: of course, the pain will eventually subside and you will recover, but it definitely will not be an easy road.

So if you are not willing to let go of your ex, the time to act is now. You need to put a plan together and follow it through. I’m not saying that you should start harassing your ex (we know that doesn’t work anyway), but you should at least put something in place in terms of a short and long term plan.

And do not hesitate – the clock is ticking and your window of opportunity is closing.

Need a place to start? Try thinking about the mistakes you are making at this very minute when it comes to dealing with your ex. Are you harassing him/her with phone calls and text messages? Maybe it’s the fact that you are unwilling to take no for an answer until things cool off. Whatever mistakes you are making at the moment, you know deep down what they are.

The next step is easy: if you know the mistakes you are making, then simply do the opposite. Can’t stop contacting your ex? Simple, just keep away. Enlist the help of some good friends if necessary. If you really can’t keep away, take a trip out of town and go on vacation for a bit. Make sure the cell phone stays at home. Once you have identified the problem, the solution is usually straight forward.

You Need to Understand Why Your Ex Dumped You

Although it’s natural to want to “fix” a relationship after getting dumped, if you don’t understand why your ex left you in the first place, there is very little chance that it’s going to happen any time soon. Also, if you do get him/her back, it’s not likely to last. You’ll wind up in the same situation – and when your ex leaves you again, they definitely won’t be coming back.

As painful as it may be, what you should be doing with your time at the moment is really trying to understand why they left. Put aside the “victim” mentality for a minute and look at things objectively. Even if your ex left you for someone else, there is a reason it happened in the first place. Was your relationship already in trouble? Did you both communicate openly? Did you respect each other? Was there any cheating going on?

If you’re wondering how to get your ex back, you really ought to give this your undivided attention – eventually, you’ll find the answer, and that answer will be worth it’s weight in gold.

Yes, there is a chance that your ex is completely evil and left you for no reason at all, but that’s highly unlikely. It’s much more likely that there is one single problem with the relationship that lead to the split. Unfortunately, your ex is unlikely to give you any clues. This is something you’re going to have to figure out on your own.

Once you have a pretty good idea of what actually happened, you’ll be able to sit down with your former partner and really talk things over. It’ll be very obvious that you’re not just apologizing for the sake of apologizing. Your ex is going to pick up on your sincerity right away and it won’t just look like another ploy to get them back.

This is going to go a long way towards reconnecting (and eventually, reuniting) with your ex.

It’s Within Your Reach to Get Your Ex Back

I understand what you’re going through, I’ve been there. Things look pretty bad right now, but you need to realize that you can’t just repeat the past. That is what got you here in the first place. Finding the main reason for your split, and dealing with it is crucial. You have to stop trying to force things with your ex by trying to change their thoughts or feelings. Are you wondering exactly what your options are?

The best thing you can do is to change the way you’re acting. This may sound way too simple to work, but it does. It works, that is, as long as you don’t return to those same bad habits. It’s important to know that if you keep doing these things, you will only end up alone.

Here are two tips that will really help you:

1. Stop, and take a good look at where you currently are. Ask yourself what is working, and what is not? If you find that everything is working for you, just continue on the steady path. If not, however, a major change may be in order. I’m not talking about tweaking what you are currently doing, I mean a drastic change. Start by doing what you do now, just completely opposite. There is no quicker way to get someone’s attention, including your ex. For example, if you are the kind of person that is constantly ringing your ex to try and patch things up, stop calling completely. I am not saying cut back on the number of times you call them, or only call a few times a week. When I say drastic, I mean cold turkey, no more calls. If there is a time where you have to make a call, just get straight to business with no small talk.

2. You have a very realistic chance at getting your ex back. You have to, however, be humble in realizing what is working, and what is not. This will let you approach the situation with a new level of confidence to really change up the way things are going. You have to catch your ex’s eye, and make them want to approach you if you ever want to get them back. No amount of forcing the situation will help, no matter how much you want it to.

Will My Ex Come Back to Me?

Ever Find Yourself Wondering “Will My Ex Come Back To Me?”
The easiest way to answer this question is by looking at oneself and asking “If I were my ex, would I want to come back to me?” Are you still that fun, free spirited person your ex fell in love with? Often time, the sheer resentment and heartache of a breakup will change a person. You may find yourself more angry, or jaded than you ever were before. Do you really think that anyone would want to be with a person like that?

The first thing you need to do is look a little into the future, a few months down the line. Ask yourself “where do I want to be?” Don’t worry about whether your ex will come back to you – what are your personal goals? Are you still planning on being miserable and lonely, or would you rather be like your old happy self again? The answer is obvious, but there really is no good reason to wait a few months.

You need to start by totally changing the way you do everything. Instead of dwelling on the negative of what happened, focus on the positive of what can come. You have all that time free now, you could do anything you ever enjoyed doing. A lot of people get to spend more time with their friends and family, or take up a new and interesting hobby. This is really a time for self exploration and awareness; basically, you need to find yourself.

When you do this, you get past the biggest roadblock in your way: the waiting game. Before you were just sitting around, feeling sorry for yourself, and waiting for your ex to come back. Now, you know the answer to your question “will my ex come back to me?” It’s all up to you, and your willingness to stick to the plan. Don’t fall back to the things that got you in this mess in the first place. When your ex sees how much you have changed, and just how much fun you are, they will be running back. Don’t be surprised if this happens a lot quicker than you previously thought.

How to Get Your Ex Back Like a Jujitsu Master

So you may be thinking to yourself, what does being a Jujitsu master have one lick to do with how to get your ex back. Trust me, this isn’t some gimmick to get you to start a martial arts class, just trust me on this one. One of the founding concepts of jujitsu is to take an opponent’s energy and use it against them. For example, let’s pretend your arm is locking in tight with another, kind of like arm wrestling. Whatever happens, you need to keep pushing with all your might against his oncoming force. One thing you can learn from jujitsu in this situation that you can easily apply to your relationship is how to “give in” a little – this will surprise your opponent and you can easily turn things around. The key is to use their strength in a way they’re not expecting – against them.

I’m going to shed some light on how to use this technique when you try to get your ex back. Just like in the example, you need to stop pushing back. This means no more fights or bickering about small things, no matter how right you are. This also means that being needy and clingy are out of the question – and there is never a good excuse to look for reasons to “run into each other”.

This is just the first step in throwing your ex off guard – next, you want to reverse what you have been feeling and act happy and joyful with life. You should even start to consider going on a date. This, of course, is not to find someone to replace your ex, but instead to really boost your self-confidence and get you in a more positive mindset.

When your ex sees how amazing you are doing, there will be nothing they can do to stop themselves from coming back to you. There will be this initial confrontation, but don’t stress about it. Just remember your jujitsu training and things will work out just as you planned. When thinking about how to get your ex back, I hope you begin to realize it’s not as hard as you once thought.

What Are The Chances of Getting Back With An Ex?

The chances of getting back with an ex – well, it totally depends on whether you’re ready to make some changes in your approach. If you are, then the chances are greatly in your favor, if you’re not, then you might as well just move on now. You broke up for some reason, right? Some core issues – maybe boredom, maybe because you fight all the time, maybe because of parenting issues, perhaps infidelity, maybe finances – whatever it was, there was a reason.

The likelihood of you guys ever totally resolving that issue is pretty slim. That’s right, it’s not likely you’ll ever totally agree on everything. There are many issues in a relationship that in fifty years of marriage you won’t ever change. Does that mean the relationship is doomed? No. Not at all. It just means that you have to learn to live with disagreements – even on fundamental issues. In the end, you have to ask yourself, “If my ex won’t agree with me on this issue, is it worth losing them over?” If the answer is yes, well then, certainly move on. But if not, then you just have to learn to let it go and compromise because, fundamentally, you may never see eye-to-eye on that issue. So, instead of focusing on your ex, I want you to spend this time apart focusing on you. Get back to being happy, confident and self-reliant – like you were when you first met your ex. Isn’t that what attracted them to you in the first place? If you don’t get your head right and focus on you, then all you will do is continue to push your ex away.

The chances of getting back with ex can be much better than you realize if you are just willing to make some changes. You see, you both have a lot vested in your relationship already, but you have to give your ex the reasons to want to give you another chance – and that is something you have to show her, you can’t tell her.

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